Dating and Body Language
Body language, the secret language. What are they really telling you and what are you saying to another person with a twist of your head,
arm or foot position? The person you are with may be saying one thing with their mouth, but many psychologists state that 80% of the messages
we send are sent with our body and facial movements and only 20% with our words.
This high percentage makes it imperative that you are aware of your own and the other person's secret body language when you are communicating
in order to really understand the true meaning of what is going on between the two of you.
For example, you can say that you would like to go out with someone while they are talking about getting together,
but if you have your arms crossed over your chest, you are really telling them 'no' or you're not sure as the crossed arms
send up a protection message that serves as a barrier between you and the other person.
Their brain, consciously or subconsciously, will believe that you really don't want to get together and they
may not follow through with their proposal...
Positive Body Language
The other person moves slightly toward you - decreasing the space between the two of you - if they feel positively about
what you are saying or doing.
He or she may:
- Lean in towards you
- Point their feet toward you
- Uncross legs
- Arms uncrossed and open, palms up
- Playfully fondle jewelry, hair or smooth shirt sleeve or collar
- Smile extended
- Prolonged eye contact
- Look down shyly
Negative Body Language
Other person moves slightly away from you - increasing the space between the two of you - if they feel uncomfortable or negatively about
what you are saying or doing.
He or she may:
- Lean away from you
- Point feet away from you -- in another direction
- Cross legs
- Cross arms
- Palms of hands are down - or hands are closed
- Rubbing eyes, scratch nose or rub back of their neck - with elbow pointed toward you
- Not smiling -- slight frown or hint of gramace
- Not focusing on you, but turning eyes away and to the side
Paying attention to the other person's basic body language, signals and non-verbal
cues can help improve your dating skills immensely.
Use the signs and you can figure out how your partner feels about most of what you do or what you are talking about.
Send the same type of signals with your own body language to maximize success.
In the final analysis, you will be seem more attractive and persuasive and may become more empathetic in the process.
For example: the girl on the left, arms crossed, not really smiling, may not be happy her date is on the phone. Girl on the right,
arms uncrossed, open smile -- looks much happier.
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Check some of the following
basic non-verbal cues and you'll recognize that you
already speak and translate much of the language. |
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"Dunno."
"Beats me!"
"Clueless." |
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Mother: "Listen up."
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Daughter: "Lemme outa here."
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"I'm surprised!"
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"Well, I'm shocked!"
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"You're wrong!"
"No, you're wrong!" |
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"Bummed." |
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"All right!"
Even though his fist is clenched, you can tell that this dude's way happy. |
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"I don't know why I even bother going out with you!"
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